Relationships

Using the Children

When couples have a major disagreement, they often try to find allies. This might seem like a normal reaction, but it can do more damage to the relationship than the underlying issue. Couples who have children might find they are lining them up to support their side, but using the children in this way can have a deleterious effect on them for the rest of their lives. It can split the family down the middle, and it can cause future issues when they grow up and have their own relationships that must be nurtured.

Whatever the underlying issue is between two people, it should only be brought to a professional if they find agreement is something they might never reach. A neutral third party is a much better choice than their children, and it could eventually help them solve their problem. Lining their children up on different sides of the fight will have the opposite effect in many cases, and it might only ensure that all of them will eventually need professional help.

Couples will not always be able to agree on some issues, but there are ways to live with that. They could find that never discussing the issue between them works, or they might find alternatives that suit their family. Some couples might find that they are closer to agreement than they thought possible, but their ability to communicate is what really hampers finding a solution. All of these problems are ones that a professional can see, so using their help is a good path towards salvaging the relationship.

Emotions run high between two people with a large investment in their lives, so being able to think and see clearly is not always possible. For those who want to find ways to make their life better, leaving family, friends, and their children out of their disagreements is the best path toward a healthy relationship.